Musings Talking Heads

Live In Before Shaadi – Live It or Leave It

Live In Before Shaadi - Live It or Leave It
Internet / @studiozeppic

What is commitment for you ?

To invade in someone’s personal life, to behave that you have built enough understanding, to know that yes no matter what comes up I will always be there for you, to have a faith in each other that in the end, love will make us stay together and will bring the happiest days.

Commitment doesn’t come in a single day, it’s like a plant which was once a seed, and slowly and slowly with time, it grows up to a plant.

Same thing can be said for commitment as well, to be committed to someone, it takes years and years to understand the person, to like the person, to get used to his/her likes/dislikes, to find the normality even in his/her abnormal behaviour. It’s a mutual feeling and a belief. To be committed to someone takes a huge amount of time, patience and understanding, as you must have heard that there are very moody person in this whole world mostly the creative people. Do you think for them it’s easy to fall for someone who thinks little different? To be unique is a miracle but to understand someone’s mood which changes like day and night then it is way too frustrating. Now, as we are talking about artists let us focus how they work and think. Getting married to an artist is like bringing rocket science in a fancy way to your house. And it’s not about artists only, marriage is that term which can bring tremendous amount of changes in your life too.

Live In Before Shaadi - Live It or Leave It
@prostooleh

Marriage changes the whole scenario, your lifestyle, responsibilities, maturity etc. In 21st century to have everything in your bucket, is a bit tacky. To have chole bhature and dosa in the same plate is a little difficult to digest. Same way the word marriage works.

In our country it is recommended to have an arranged marriage where first the families meet, they perform certain formalities and then let the boy and girl decide whether they want to get married or not, and sometimes the chance of saying no to your parents, is almost negligible. The families discuss everything like dowry, gold, venue and even the meal. But what about the girl and boy? Are they really willing to take each other for lifetime?

The question remains untouched so after the marriage comes a list of complaints and sometimes divorces, suicides etc. I don’t think arrange marriage is a wrong option, but what about the kind of compatibility the girl/boy is searching in their life partner? Don’t they have the authority to choose what is best for them? Sometimes there whole life passes by getting suggestions and orders from their elder ones and they keep on fulfilling them. But the word marriage is like a phase which starts very soon and ends when death takes us. Those long 50-60 years of commitment where the prime decision was made on those factors what bade mama would say if i don’t marry this guy, or the chote chacha will feel if I will say no to the girl whom I just met 2-3 times.

As I said arrange marriage is never a bad option, but to have a certain amount of courtship that yes you know this person for 6 months or 1 year since your families decided to plan a wedding. To figure out what is best and how the other person is best for you.

According to my opinion, I don’t believe in first impression or love at first sight. They are simple illusions to me, they will just confuse you and if you look around you, you will always find such couples who have the best compatibility in spite of having an arranged marriage, because they gave time to each other. They clearly understood what is wrong and what is right for them. We cannot change for anyone, but if that change can bring happiness and awesomeness in your life then why not. Marriage is about that only, finding independence when being dependent on each other.

Live In Before Shaadi - Live It or Leave It
Freepik

Now, if we talk about the live in relationship, the word itself is quite abandoned in our society. The way our neighbour aunties will look at a girl and a boy living together in a flat, their eyes pops up like popcorn. So, is there anything wrong about that? It’s your personal choice to go forward or wait for miracle to happen and let the cupid make some amazing connections for you. May be I might sound a bit crazy but if you ask me I would say, if you have made up your mind that yes I am going to get married to this person, no matter how many obstacles will come in between and have a clear head then having live-in relationship is not wrong.

But just for the sake, that your friends are doing it, or it is like healthy friends with benefit type thing to look cool in front of your gang or group then I find it stupid. Because when two people come close to each other, they not only share room but also share emotions, values, love, care and much more.

We are humans and not robots, to get attached to someone and then leave the person that it wasn’t working for me is wrong. Now you would say that is the meaning of live-in relationship, to stay together so that we are aware of everything what is going to come up. But in the end, you might lose the special bond which you both shared, the laughter, the love, and the way you used to stay connected and share even the minute details. To love someone requires time and bundle of emotions, in the end be a good listener and listen to your heart if is not working in few months it won’t be happening in years. In spite of leaving a person after 5-6 years it’s better to make your own choice in your heart, what do you want the most?

In the end, let you decide what you want for yourself and not others decide your fate. Bring the maturity within you to chose between good and very good. May be that good is best for someone else, so that good be available for that best someone. Make your heart happy, make yourself happy.

Marriage is your choice, to make it the most memorable part of your life you need to decide on your own. Before jumping into any conclusion, make sure you are confident about it. Ask yourself the same thing every day before getting married, this is what you want? Are you prepared for this?

You might end up getting all your answers before it’s too late.

 



Content Written by Kaumudi Tripathi

Banner Image (right side) Credits @studiozeppic

Banner Image (left side) Credits @freepik



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Team TUB

The Uncommon Box (TUB), is a pannier with uncommon treasures from our very own common surroundings. Everything in this world is unique in its own way; it's just the matter of realizing and appreciating it. We are here with our thoughts which have been gathered from the common lives we are living. We believe in the special or uncommon that remains undiscovered or unnoticed in our routine hectic life. The aim of this community is to ‘be uncommon and do uncommon!’

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