Studying Gender as a subject, transformed the entire perspective about society and its norms for Uncommon blogger Vidushi Jain. She realized that a great disparity exists between genders. The hypocrisy which exists when it comes to women got her thinking and she realized that sadly this awareness was also lacking amongst women, so she started blogging about “My issues”.
In her own words,
I write whatever I have observed and felt from within. I have always believed in time and destiny, whatever is ours will come to us either today or tomorrow. So always do keep faith in the Almighty as s/he is the only one who chalks out our path of life.
I expressed my inner sight on this, as this is a daily dose of gendering in our society.
About her blog titled Charitraheen or “Characterless”, she comments, that the word ‘Characterless’ has remained a gendered adjective. The irony is that women don’t realize that whenever they talk about the character of any woman; they water those strong and thick roots of patriarchal plants, which are eventually getting stronger. It’s high time to make Women respect themselves first and then ask for it from society.
The musings of this deep thinker emerged as a biting sarcasm on the double standards of society when it comes to passing the verdict on the behaviour of women.
चरित्रहीन – the Characterless
When she would still play with male counterparts even after puberty;
When her class rank didn’t matter but the length of her skirt did in her school;
Even after making the nation proud, the Miss Universe was questioned upon her virginity;
Suddenly her deep backless blouse became the most talked about thing in a family function;
When she grooved from her heart on a dance floor, but her moves were recorded and shared as obscene;
Not the lyricist but, the lead performer of the item number took over the dailies and weeklies;
When the colleagues gave assurance about her promotion and the links with the manager. And again her intelligence was underrated;
She wanted to sustain herself, but people questioned her choice of working a night shift;
A group said Cheers! But people only noticed her voice;
When she ordered BIRA on a blind date, he thought she is available;
Wearing a red lip colour, she was waiting for her cab near a red light, but mirrors were pulled down;
Her list of friends was short of Geetas and Seetas;
When the Extra marital affair, was only about one being indecent;
When she just wanted to breathe outside those traditional grounds;
And a lot more happens on a daily basis.
But why does it happen with every other Lara Dutta, Indira Nooyi or Arundhati Bhattacharya?
And till when we will let it happen?
How beautifully we relate every single action of her with her Character.
It’s an art of being Ghatiya in every sense.
Ohh.. she sits with more of a relaxed posture and doesn’t cross her legs…. Such a shame..
filthy whore. How can she sit with her legs apart even in her room???
Whatever women do, how it gets automatically related to our interest in males?
Even if she gets raped, it was her fault,
chahey woh 4 saal ki ho, dopahar ko nikli ho, saree mei ho yaa chahe Burkhe se full covered.
Being a Woman is like “being nothing”,
who cares what she is, what she wants to be, her dreams never mattered to anyone.
The moment she gets disconnected from the umbilical cord,
people start giving tips on “how to become acceptable” and the process of gendering starts.
It’s only about how every शी(SHE)should be, ताकी shaadi अच्छे घर में हो जाए।
After beautiful, Characterless has remained the most often used adjective for SHEs.
And since “MEN WILL BE MEN” so there is no scope left to give them any certification.
For every other character trait of them we simply shrug and say “men will be men”.
But why there is a great difference in dealing with the identities?
Why HER every approach to life becomes indecent, and the same is treated very natural in HIS case?
STOP giving character certificates to us.
We are a lot than those in your perceptions; we want to achieve a lot in life than just to woo men.
And seriously we don’t strive for a tag of “decent” and “fit for marriage”.
The irony is that mostly she gives these tags to another she.
If a man can go willingly to a brothel then why only the prostitute was called a Shame?
Whether they forced her into prostitution or they raped her,
the society has demeaned itself by blaming only one gender being the “Name of Shame”.
Change this notion of Men will be Men,
as if this will continue then no woman could achieve what she deserves.
This statement is nothing more than silent and unnoticeable gender violence.
It’s more of a declaration than just a branded marketing strategy.
Lastly, to all those who are reading it, especially women, next time do keep in mind,
that if you have certified any शी(SHE) as characterless then you are promoting the derogatory culture of “Men will be Men”.
And in some way or the other you are cursing yourself too.
Voices like Vidushi’s need that platform to reach out to more people to help sow and nurture the seeds of awakening in our gender biased society. The lines she penned expressly clearly the pain and outrage felt by so many women. The Uncommon Box considers itself an agent of change because Art as we see it also has a social responsibility towards Life itself. Therefore, we make a special effort to encourage these thoughts on our forum.
She defines herself : A Woman, a Photographer, a Poet (sometimes), a blogger, a stylist, and a junk jewels freak.
Presently, working as a German language teacher in a school. A post Graduate in Communication field from Delhi University.
You can read more of Vidushi’s work on
Credits for Photos
Banner Photo : Yashasvi Walia
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