The crime of sexual abuse and violence connected with it has traumatised many lives.
The real statistics of this common crime would definitely frighten the wits out of any civilised society but the tragedy is that most of it goes unreported or the perpetrator gets away without any punishment.
The Uncommon Box, as a part of its social campaign in association with SafeCity, launched a two week initiative against sexual violence. We invited bloggers to contribute to this cause by means of their writing and here is a special blog orthatswhatshesaid.wordpress.com, run by two friends Shreya Malhotra and Panthi Desai, which voices the anguish of a victim and a survivor of sexual violence.
Here is what they had to say-
‘It’s outrageous to me that the overwhelming response is to disbelieve the accuser, to defend the accused. Where nobody is ready to believe and support the victim for once.
We, the people, need to to be aware and trust them for once so that we can challenge the culture that disbelieves and discounts and silences the lived experiences of many.
I’m sure there are much more survivors like me stumbling and paving their way to fight back and defend themselves. But their voices are suppressed by the society.
By you and by me.
So will you help them?
Will you help every survivor out there?’
The following poem is a heart-wrenching expression of what a survivor experiences.
BECAUSE MY SAFETY IS MY RESPONSIBILITY.
They say with time it gets better.
21 years and I’m still waiting.
So when and how?
Is it a wine that gets better with time?
Or is it the sunshine of illusion which glorifies moments into happiness?
Each day is a battle.
The battle that never ends, it’s a constant war between my head and my heart.
Each day I wake up with a little less me.
I can still feel the bruises on my soul that hasn’t healed for years.
It all seems new and fresh.
That hideous day is still trapped in my head.
That frantic little girl is still living inside me trying to get up and raise her voice.
But she cannot.
I knew that was wrong because I felt filthy. But still, I didn’t know what to do about it.
The moment when he came close to me and started stripping my clothes off for the sake of “fun”, I could sense what would happen next.
I wanted to make it stop.
I wanted to fight.
I wanted to say “NO” but I couldn’t.
That 12-year-old girl couldn’t fight for herself. I still feel so helpless and terrible for that innocent and callow girl when she was shut by her mom.
I still feel so helpless and terrible when her first hero, was silently listening to everything but didn’t felt the need to jump in.
Her world was brutally crushed by reality.
Suddenly that one Rakhi tie went futile.
That bond of protection, obligation, and care struck her so hard.
Because the person who taught her how to ride a bicycle, who taught her how to play cards, who used to sneak out chocolates for her, who was supposed to protect her from all evil and keep her safe from the world can possibly take her childhood all at once?
Isn’t it a little unfair when you don’t feel safe in your own damn house?
When the nights become vicious and you can’t sleep knowing that the person who mangled you is sleeping in the next room.
So where are you supposed to go?
In whom are you supposed to confide?
Sometimes I still sit numb and frozen.
Trying to untangle what happened with me was even justified at all.
But I refuse to succumb.
Because I’m a survivor, not a victim.
Yes, it left scars on my soul forever.
But these scars are a reminder of those times when life tried to break me but failed.
They are markings of where the structure of my character was welded.
I want to tell my 12 year-self, that life, it ain’t all fairy tales. Sometimes even the princess has a dark and twisty tale.
Yes, you’re damaged.
But still intact.
So stop now.
Don’t quarrel with the demons in your head.
The two bloggers feel that ‘Words have the power to change perceptions of people.’And rightly so.
If we as a society do not raise our voices against this crime, it will never be eradicated from society.
The Uncommon Box is motivated to play its part towards making this world we live in a more sensitive and progressive one, through the use of the arts.
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