To all of you who just read the title – answer this one – “How do you think boys should behave”?
What is expected of boys? That being macho, testosterone –driven animals is the definition of manhood?
Think about it!
Generally, features on The Uncommon Box are written in the third person to give the feel of a general view of voice, taking you through the special feature. But let me caution you- this feature suffers from a bias- because while writing I could not help but respond to the poem as a woman.
“As a woman, I found it so heartwarming and extremely inspiring when a man stood up and asked to be counted for his views as a man- as Y chromosome who has his convictions about men and women.”
Here is our Uncommon spoken word poet Aditya Mankad saying it like it is! Elaborating on the inspiration for his poem, Aditya says,
‘This is the first spoken word piece I wrote. Actually, it was written as a part of a two-piece performance. The idea was to write about the generalization associated with and gender roles assigned to individuals. I was writing about men and Priyal (his friend at Povera) was writing about women. The inspiration was the frustration. No, really. As for me, I am really frustrated with the gender roles imposed on people in our country and the generalization that tags along. “Blue for boys”, “Dance for girls”, “Pride of the family”. There are in numerous toxic tags that are associated with every gender and I am not cool with that. Hence, this. A mock epic. A sarcastic take on what I feel is wrong.
Click on the video and hear some of the most candid lines ever spoken about boys.
The Ideal Y
I am the ideal Y,
The same one that you have been looking at; as they stare at you like an animal eyeing its prey.
The same one who gets his value evaluated every time he promises to be a personal demon to a woman; when he gets the right to vandalize her like the oceans has the right when it and the shallow rivers become one.
Here, let me list out the differences between a man and an animal and then wait for you to scratch them off the list and put them under the column of “strikingly similar”.
But wait, Why am I telling you all this?
You already know who I am,
You know me so well that you have listed the things I need and need not be.
You have even laid a to-do list for me.
It is easy to be me, you don’t need a cheat sheet, you see.
Just smile and be the tough one in the family,
Bruise your cheeks and knees but never come home leaving a fight,
because “that’s not what boys do.”
But there are some things that even YOU are not allowed to do;
so much for the liberty right?
What are those?
Well, they are not as cruel as for your counterparts,
But let them succumb you and you dare not give out a cry for help,
because “that’s not what boys do.”
But we too are at fault you know?
We are at fault for not letting them know that we not as similar as the drops of rain.
We all are different… but shhh they don’t know.
Well, that was an apt analogy if you were wondering,
How can one say the drops are all similar or all different if all they do is
act all the same and be called rain or drown in the puddles that are termed as dirty.
I know I am not making a lot of sense but in my defense, we really haven’t been taught that.
What have we been taught?
Just be stoic because that’s how you should be.
Don’t even let a strand of emotion lose through or…
Or what?
Oh nothing, they will question your masculinity.
At all cost what you must not do is cry,
And fill your bottles of ego with every tear that you didn’t shed.
Don’t ever try to stand out and show who you really are,
Don’t ever try to come out and be vulnerable;
because “that’s not what boys do”.
Ah the to-do list, I almost forgot.
Here.
Grow some balls, pick up fights;
be called the pride of the family.
Take Karate lessons or Sports, what? Dance. That’s girlish.
Try to act all grown but because that’s the need of the hour.
Choose a career path to sustain your family.
From now on,
YOU DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE.
There’s more,
Pink. No Pink.
Why? Really?
I told you
That’s not what we do.
Take your bottles of ego and pour it like acid on the women of your lives.
Try to take control of everyone near you because that’s not only your right but also your duty.
Abuse. Physically, Mentally, Emotionally.
Rip those clothes of every woman you see. First in your head,
and then let the demons take over you and do what you did in your head.
Make every stare, glare, whistle a call for reminding them their place in the ecosystem.
Sip coffee, read a newspaper and comment on every goddamn thing you see because that’s what you do when she does the dishes.
And if that’s not enough then ask for what you want in bed and if she doesn’t cooperate; rape her.
That’s legal by the way. (not that it makes a difference)
Paint the walls when you feel like and jerk off at every woman you feel like.
Remember, rules have exceptions.
They are just for the weaker sex.
Oh and holding hands – not cool.
Don’t ever have feelings for other men.
If you’re gay then maybe you are not a man after all.
This who you are.
This is what we are.
This is what they know of you.
This is what they think of you.
I am the ideal Y,
You are too.
What?
You’re “different”?
Doesn’t matter.
Why?
Because they don’t get it.
So, did the sarcasm sting?
Fed on patriarchy and obsolete views of Man and Woman, a large section of the world has a distorted perspective that is damaging to both genders.
Boys are as much the victim of gender bias as are girls- they are not allowed to be themselves but have to fit into the typical mould society has bizarrely built for them.
It is a time the boys spoke out too.
Much like Aditya Mankad here.
About the poet:
Aditya is an engineering graduate, employed at Wipro Technologies since 2015. He is also a freelance marketer and a curator at The Project Cafe. In addition to that, he runs a spoken word poetry initiative called Povera with two of his friends – Priyal and Darshita. He started performing poetry in 2016 and since then has been performing as much as he can.
You can follow him at:
Twitter | Facebook | Instagram
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