Poetry for me is like a mandala of words, drawn on the canvas of my thoughts, filled with details of memories.
As they all say, an artist frames their art somewhere around the emotions they have buried inside. The deeper the mind travels, the gorgeous their art looks.
This poem here, that I am about to talk, “Vodka and Lime“ is basically verses of toxicity combined with metaphors for love and it’s problems. I have tried to emphasize on how love can grow into something intoxicating whilst getting old.
The poem expresses the pathway of this intoxication, how it leads from one thing to another and before you even realize, you are already in a circle of late night cries and morning silence.
Vodka and Lime
It was a slow death, I could feel!
Our long walks, our silly talks,
The romance of night,
And the kisses after fight.
You see,
I was holding the thread too tight,
And you were holding it too loose,
It was just one of those days for you,
But for me, I knew, it was everyday now.
It was longing, I could feel!
For you to come, sit and talk,
To hold me tight,
and work this out right.
You see,
I was in love with words so much,
That you gifted them to me everyday,
It was just another thing you thought you had to do,
But for me, the emptiness was now eating up.
I asked you to stare at the stars for sometime,
You said okay, and continued to stare at your phone,
For you, it was too much for me to ask,
For me, I was tired of wearing the ‘happy with you’ mask.
You see,
I want to relive the firsts of a relationship,
To feel the butterflies in my stomach,
I want to fall in love all over again,
But not with you anymore.
So if tomorrow you find this chair empty,
And the mugs uncleaned,
Please don’t be surprised,
For its the best thing I could give.
You see,
I was giving up on love, for the first time,
And it wasn’t a big deal you thought,
For you, it was just me upset like every time,
For me, it was over, with vodka and lime.
Now, What makes a relationship toxic? When do you end it? Can you change the cycle? I don’t have answers for that, all I know is, if you tell yourself after every fight, after every cry that, “Don’t give up, this is just a phase, it will end” you are already doing rounds of this drug. And also, it never ends, does it? Every time is the last time.
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My favourite lines from the poem are
You see,
I want to relive the firsts of a relationship,
To feel the butterflies in my stomach,
I want to fall in love all over again,
But not with you anymore.
These lines feel soulful and complete on their own. They describe how the protagonist, though being completely heartbroken, has not given up on her idea of love and relationship. How after everything she has been through, she finally decides to state the fact that she can’t take it anymore. She decides to break the invisible chain her heart is tied to. How she wanted that love sits right next to her, holds her and loosens those chains, but instead, it became stronger, tighter, unbreakable. She had to come to terms with the fact that this, whatever that was, was not love, but a mere habit, a bad habit.
With that said, the lines from the next stanza,
So if tomorrow you find this chair empty,
And the mugs uncleaned,
Please don’t be surprised,
For its the best thing I could give.
depicts how she knew, she too, couldn’t shower him with the love and happiness he deserved and ends it with a little sourness. How she steps out of the mundane activities and simply leaves, without a note, but with a message.
The idea behind this poem comes from every nook and corner of the world. I have seen people surrender to this enduring feeling and all I wish to say is, you are brave and you are enough!
Let this not be the last time, but the final time.
For her, it was vodka and lime, but what about you?
The idea of this article by Kshiti Jhala and her Insta id is @Kshiiti
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The article is Curated by Vaibhav and his Insta id is @frameshade
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