The special commemorative series being run on the occasion of Mothers’ Day by The Uncommon Box, is well into its fourth part with this unusual letter written by Nidhi Shekar to her mother and mother figures. This letter once more proves our belief, which we stated in our first part of this popular series, that the essence of motherhood can be found in different individuals.
Nidhi’s letter stands as a testament to that belief.
“The human species has survived difficult times because of the mere existence of mothers.”
If having a mother is called being lucky, what would you call yourself when you have three of them in your life??? Lucky, luckier, luckiest??? Then definitely, I am the luckiest girl in this whole world. Let me introduce them to you in no particular order of importance (all three of them are my favourites!). (Drum roll pleaseeee…!!!!)
Mom #1: my mother aka my amma.
Mom #2: my mother’s elder sister aka my mausi aka my dodamma (in kannada)
Mom #3: my elder sister aka my akka. (Her major complaint is that I don’t address her that way which most of her friends’ younger sisters do).
My sweet Amma,
my whole existence, is only and only because of you. I’m pretty sure you loved me much before my lungs even started to breathe air.
“Thank you for carrying me around for 9 months in your tummy when I would make you puke as soon as you woke up, when I kicked you hard from within and when I put you through those excruciating hours of labour pain just to come out into this world.”
I have seen you go through sleepless nights when I’m not well. I have seen you worry even when I just sneezed more than three times together. I have seen anxiety on your face when I come home late by half an hour. I have seen you more tensed than I was when I have my exams, and happier than I am when I get my results. Of course you have spanked me when I was being a brat but you also came back, hugged and consoled me after five minutes because it would kill you to see me cry. You took up the task of eradicating cockroaches in and around our home as the sole purpose of life so that I would get a goodnight’s sleep without being interrupted by their nightmares. Oh, so many more things, the list can go on forever.
it wasn’t your obligation to do all that for me just because you gave birth to me. But yet you did only and only because you love me. And that, amma, is what makes me happy in my life.
“Because i know that even if the whole world turns against me and stops believing in me, even if I stop believing in myself, I know for sure you never will stop believing in me and will never leave my side.”
You give me confidence to keep moving ahead in life no matter how many obstacles come ahead. i still wonder how you manage your work and home and not show an ounce of your tiredness ever. Being a surgeon and a mother sure hell is not an easy task but you do it with such ease and grace. Thanks for teaching me that girls can rock outside the kitchen too.
“I hope I can be even half as good as you, both as a doctor and as a mother in future.”
Even with your busy schedule, never once did I feel you never had time for me or neglected me. You made sure that I had more than enough of your time because you chose me before everything else, even before your own self.
With every step of my life, you taught me to be independent even though I knew you secretly watched my steps closely so that I would never trip and fall down. and today I feel so blessed to have been brought up by such a strong woman like you that I hope I stay true to your expectations from me ( at least, half of them). Thank you for being my mother, my wonder woman, my rock. And now,
My dear Dodamma (Doddu is how I call her with love),
You are just not a mother to me, but you practically raised my amma too. And not just her, but all of your siblings. You took up the responsibilities of a mother much before you could have your own child.
“You gave up on your dreams as you were busy making sure our dreams would come true. And the best part, you never complained about it.”
You embraced it and considered our success to be yours. If it wasn’t for you, for sure the path to achieving our dreams would have been a much more tedious one. You made sure my tummy was fed at regular intervals with delicious food so that I would never crave for junk delicacies.
“Oh, not just food, but with a lot of food because my body weight was directly proportional to your happiness.”
Somehow three spoons of ghee would make it into my stomach every day without my knowledge, secretly mixed with food, much before it was served to me. so for most of my childhood years till i got into high school, that’s how I was- a big plump fat kid and all thanks to you. But you never once thought of me that way because I was ‘healthy’ according to you. It was your argument that kids with average built were not cared for properly. Now that I come to think of it, the only complain you ever had about me and u still have is that I never eat enough food!!
I still remember those days when I was a small kid and you would lift me up by one hand while you made dosas using your other hand.
“Surely the balancing act wasn’t easy considering the high amount of body fat stores I had.”
And till date, none of the hotel dosas and chutneys can ever match yours. It taught me that love is surely a powerful ingredient to cook with!! I was the most pampered one and you are the one to be blamed for it. Everything I needed was at my beck and call. Even if it was just fetching water when I felt thirsty, you would take it as an emergency task to get it to me as soon as possible in the next 10 seconds as you couldn’t risk me getting into a fit of hiccups. You played a huge role in bringing me up safely in the confines of my home as you would never let me go out of the house without supervision because you said that I was a healthy kid (again, read as fat kid) and people kidnap such kids. Oh, for a while, I believed it until I realised you didn’t like the idea of me having bruised elbows and knees.
I sincerely have no idea what my life, in fact all our lives would be, if it wasn’t for you.
“You were truly an anchor in all our lives. We all stand strong today because you made us so.”
And you haven’t stopped doing it even till date, especially the part where I’m still pampered excessively (and I would definitely not want you to stop doing it ever!!). I know now that you love me more than your own child, in fact more than anyone. AndI will always love you and take care of you like your own daughter. and now
My amazing Akka,
There is a saying that you can kid the whole world but not your sister. It definitely holds true in my life.
“Actually I have been confused my entirely life and I still am whether you see me as your sister or as your daughter.”
Maybe even you consider yourself to be more of a mother and less of a sister at times. I guess it’s because of your unconscious protectiveness towards me that started from day one of my arrival into this world, when all you would do, as narrated by amma, is stand next to my cradle and never allow anyone to come near me or touch me.
“You would come to meet me three times every day when I was in kindergarten just to see that I’m not being bullied by other kids.”
Thank you for letting me follow you and your older cooler friends around like a puppy in school. I’m sure you never wanted to tag me along all the time. I, of course, grew up to be the most annoying irritating little sister. I’m less annoying now though.
You have cried in sadness together with me when I faced failures and jumped around with happy tears when I had my achievements.”
You took it up as your responsibility to make me get ready for every competition I participated back in school and college. All my medals and trophies are entirely because of your guidance me and confidence in me.
You always kept telling me to learn from your mistakes because you were scared about me getting hurt. I promise to be careful in future. Whenever I had doubts about my dreams, you made sure I never give up on it. You made sure every time I go down, you would be there to pull me right out.
“Every time amma was busy saving lives at hospital, you took up the responsibility of looking after me and you did it without being asked.”
You instilled a sense of strong ambition in me to achieve everything I can in my ability and never settle for anything less than what I deserve. Let me confess that my whole life was about trying to match up to really high standards that you have set in every aspect of life. It really is tiresome and I secretly hated you for that at times.
“There were many things that I couldn’t open up to Amma but I could easily do to you.”
That’s why everyone knew that if anyone could convince me of something, that person could only be you. Thank you for putting up with those rebellious unappreciative adolescent years of mine and my over exaggerated dramas all the time.
I must agree that after all the years of waiting to have the whole room for myself and never share it with you, I realised when you moved away, that it isn’t just the closet or the bed but also my secrets, dreams, love and laughter (and pillow fights) that I couldn’t be able to share again like before. Of course, we have had times when we were at each other’s throats but know that I love you more than I have irritated you. So tell me, would it suffice to just call you a sister and not a mother to me?? (P.S:- now that you have honed all your motherly skills by experimenting and practising them on me, you are going to be an amazing mother when you have your own child someday. Thank me for being your guinea pig!! Akkaaaaaaa!!! )
So now it’s very clear why I proudly call myself to be the luckiest soul on earth. It’s all because of these three fabulous woman who have redefined what it means to be an amazing mother. I will never choose one over the other but will only settle down to have all three of them. Because none of them gave up on me and so will I never give up on them.
Happy Mothers’ Day to my Doddu, Amma and Akka.
Happy Mothers’ Day to all amazing mothers out there.
Nidhi
Acknowledgements: The featured artwork is by Pratha Gupta
Such an overflowing of feelings contained within one letter! Such are the emotions when one feels blessed in life with love and care from mothers and mother-figures.
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